As Jesse James faces yet another scandal—the revelation of a sexual harassment settlement in 2007, while he was married to Sandra Bullock—Adam Sternbergh brainstorms 7 career moves that could do James some good, in New York:
- Launch a reality show: “Host a new series titled At Least Right After You Won an Oscar You Didn't Find Out He'd Been Cheating on You With a Tattoo Model Who's Also a Part-Time Nazi.”
- Start a charity: "Jesse James's Custom-Built Choppers for Kids" has a nice ring to it. "It can be followed up quickly with: The Jesse James Foundation for Juvenile Facial Reconstructive Surgery.”
- Compete on Celebrity Apprentice: Oh wait, you did. "Well, maybe you need to move down to the next rung on the reality-show ladder. Oh wait, there is no rung below Celebrity Apprentice.”
- Caddie for Tiger Woods: “What do you think? Nine iron? Also, I'm an idiot." "Nah, I'd go wedge. Also, me too."
- Become a seal hunter: “Because at this point, clubbing baby seals might actually make people like you better.”
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