The Academy Awards have no host this year, but they opened with a musical performance by Janelle Monae (featuring an appearance by Billy Porter) that made mention of all the talented female directors Hollywood is celebrating. (Unspoken addendum: None of those directors are nominated for an Oscar.) Next up were Steve Martin and Chris Rock, whose monologue included jokes about the failed Iowa caucuses, Jeff Bezos' divorce, and, yes, the lack of nominated female directors and the general whiteness of the show. We'll be updating this story as the night goes on:
- Regina King then presented the first award of the night, best supporting actor, to Brad Pitt for Once Upon a Time ... in Hollywood. He noted his acceptance speech could only be 45 seconds long, which, he said, is "45 seconds more than the Senate gave John Bolton this week."
- Mindy Kaling presented best animated picture to Toy Story 4 and best animated short film to Hair Love.
- Idina Menzel performed Into the Unknown from Frozen 2 alongside those who have sung the song for foreign language voiceover versions of the film.
- Diane Keaton and Keanu Reeves presented best original screenplay to Parasite.
- Natalie Portman and Timothée Chalamet presented best adapted screenplay to Jojo Rabbit.
- Shia LaBeouf and Zack Gottsagen presented best live-action short film to The Neighbors' Window.
- Kristen Wiig and Maya Rudolph presented best production design (after a mini comedy sketch about their prolific acting skills) to Once Upon a Time ... in Hollywood and best costume design to (after a brief musical montage of songs about clothes) to Little Women.
- Chrissy Metz performed another nominated song, I'm Standing With You from Breakthrough.
- After a video presentation (featuring Greta Thunberg, among others) on the importance of documentaries, Mark Ruffalo presented best documentary feature (pointing out many of the nominated films were directed or co-directed by women) to American Factory and best documentary short subject to Learning to Skateboard in a Warzone (If You're a Girl).
- Mahershala Ali presented best supporting actress to Laura Dern for Marriage Story.
- Anthony Ramos (John Laurens and Philip Hamilton from Hamilton) then introduced Lin-Manuel Miranda, who in turn introduced a montage of the best movie songs of all time. At its close, Eminem performed; click here to find out why that happened.
- Oscar Isaac and Salma Hayek Pinault presented best sound mixing to Ford v. Ferrari and best sound editing to 1917.
- Randy Newman performed "I Can't Let You Throw Yourself Away" from Toy Story 4.
- Utkarsh Ambudkar came on to rap a recap of the show so far, which caused some to scratch their heads. Sample tweet no. 1: "And because the show doesn’t have enough time sucks, let’s do a recap rap of what’s happened so far." Sample tweet no. 2: "i love utkarsh but can i get ONE black person rapping on this stage."
- Will Ferrell and Julia Louis-Dreyfus presented best cinematography to 1917 and best film editing to Ford v. Ferrari.
- Tom Hanks then took the stage to talk about the nearly-complete Academy Museum of Motion Pictures.
- Cynthia Erivo performed "Stand Up" from Harriet.
- Rebel Wilson and James Corden (dressed up as their characters from Cats) presented best visual effects to 1917.
- Ray Romano and Sandra Oh presented best makeup and hairstyling to Bombshell. (Viewers were wowed by Charlize Theron's look in the film.)
- Penelope Cruz presented best international feature film to Parasite. (The award used to be called "best foreign language film," and director Bong Joon-ho said he was happy to be the first to receive the award under its new name.)
- Elton John performed "(I'm Gonna) Love Me Again" from Rocketman.
- Taika Waititi recognized the indigenous people on whose native lands the ceremony is taking place, then introduced Sigourney Weaver, Gal Gadot, and Brie Larson, who in turn introduced the first female conductor to lead the Oscars orchestra, Eímear Noone, for the best original score presentation. The trio of superheroes then presented best original score to Joker and best original song to John and Bernie Taupin for "(I'm Gonna) Love Me Again."
- Best director went to Bong Joon-ho for Parasite.
- Steven Spielberg introduced the in memoriam segment, which started with Kobe Bryant, ended with Kirk Douglas, and played as Billie Eilish and brother Finneas performed "Yesterday."
- Three minutes past the ceremony's scheduled end time, George MacKay introduced Olivia Colman, who presented best actor to Joaquin Phoenix for Joker. It was 10 minutes past the scheduled end time by the time Phoenix finished his acceptance speech.
- Rami Malek presented best actress to Renee Zellweger for Judy.
- Jane Fonda presented best picture to Parasite, the first non-English language film to win the top prize. Twitter went wild at the upset, and the audience went wild when producers turned the lights down mid-acceptance speeches (after what seemed like an entire night with zero winners getting played off stage). The lights came back on, and the ceremony ended 31 minutes late.
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